THIS IS A PARODY. Sellfr is not a real company. Nothing you type here leaves your browser. Fr.
📈 YOUR LOCATION HISTORY ▲ 0.0002¢  ·  🛒 3AM CART ABANDONMENT ▲ 0.0004¢  ·  🦆 "CAN A GOOSE SUE ME" ▲▲ 0.0009¢  ·  😴 SLEEP SCHEDULE (TRAGIC) ▼ 0.0001¢  ·  🍪 COOKIES ACCEPTED WITHOUT READING ▲ 0.0006¢  ·  🐶 DOG'S NAME (ALSO YOUR PASSWORD) ▲ 0.0003¢  ·  📈 YOUR LOCATION HISTORY ▲ 0.0002¢  ·  🛒 3AM CART ABANDONMENT ▲ 0.0004¢  ·  🦆 "CAN A GOOSE SUE ME" ▲▲ 0.0009¢  ·  😴 SLEEP SCHEDULE (TRAGIC) ▼ 0.0001¢  ·  🍪 COOKIES ACCEPTED WITHOUT READING ▲ 0.0006¢  ·  🐶 DOG'S NAME (ALSO YOUR PASSWORD) ▲ 0.0003¢  · 
D2EC™ · DIRECT CONSUMER-TO-EVIL-CORPORATION

They're selling you anyway.
Might as well get a cut.

Big data companies are mining your personal data through cookies, tracking pixels, loyalty cards, smart fridges and that one flashlight app from 2013. Why give it away for free, when you can sell your own personal data, direct consumer-to-evil-corporation?

Sell yourself. Fr.
Liquidate my personhood →
Returns not guaranteed. Returns not likely. Returns, honestly, not really a thing.

Why Sellfr?

Right now, ~4,000 companies you've never heard of are passing your data around like a group project nobody did the reading for. You're the product. You've always been the product. Sellfr just lets the product invoice.

🍪 Cookies are eating you

Every "Accept All" is a tiny contract you signed while trying to read a lasagna recipe. That's billions of signatures. Zero royalties. Until now.

📍 You're being tracked for free

Your phone knows you went to Chipotle four times this week. Advertisers know. Your insurance company is starting to know. You know. Monetize the shame.

🤝 Cut out the middleman

Why let a data broker in a beige office park profit off your 2am searches? Become your own broker. Become the beige office park.

😈 Evil, but make it fair

The corporations were going to be evil anyway. We simply ask: what if they were evil to you, specifically, with a receipt?

Three easy steps to
financial freedom*

01

Tell us everything

Your habits, your secrets, the thing you googled at 2:14am. Don't be shy. Your phone already snitched.

02

We bundle you

You'll join a premium segment like "Anxious Guy, Owns Air Fryer, Will Buy Anything Sold With a Calm Voice."

03

Get paid (fr)

Funds arrive in 6–8 business decades, minus processing, handling, vibes, and a modest 99.97% platform fee.

*Freedom not included. Your data is now free, though. Very free. It's everywhere.

A message from our
founding team

FOUNDER 1ok so we raised $40M
FOUNDER 2what's the product
FOUNDER 1the users
FOUNDER 3no like what do the users get
FOUNDER 1sold
FOUNDER 2dude
FOUNDER 1but this time they get a CUT
FOUNDER 3how big a cut
FOUNDER 1don't worry about it
FOUNDER 2i'm literally reading the spreadsheet. it says $0.0003
FOUNDER 1per PERSON bro. scale.
YOUis this for real?
ALL THREE FOUNDERSfr fr 🙏

Choose your payout tier

Lurker

$0.00004 / lifetime
  • Email address
  • Approximate age (we'll guess low, you're welcome)
  • Favorite cereal
MOST EXPLOITED

Open Book

$0.0003 / lifetime
  • 24/7 location, including the bathroom
  • Every purchase since 2009
  • Your typing speed when you're sad
  • Group chat sentiment analysis

Fr Fr (Whole Enchilada)

$0.0011 / lifetime
  • Everything above
  • Your face, voice and walk
  • Your parents' data (they won't mind)
  • Your future data, pre-sold at today's low prices

Real results from
real, fictional people

"I sold my entire digital footprint and bought half a gumball. The other half is on layaway."— Gary, invented for this website
"Within minutes I was getting ads for the exact thing I only thought about. Incredible synergy. I'm scared."— Priya, does not exist
"Before Sellfr, I was being sold for free. Now I'm being sold for slightly more than free. That's growth."— A Satisfied Data Point

Start your payout

Nothing here is stored or sent anywhere. It's a joke. Please don't type real secrets anyway, as a matter of general life policy.
Packaging your personhood…
$0.00

Congratulations. After fees, your total lifetime payout is $0.0003, which will be deposited once it reaches the $10 minimum. Expected date: the heat death of the universe.

Here's the punchline: you didn't need to fill this out. Most of this is already collected, packaged and sold every day by companies you've never heard of. The only difference with Sellfr is that we told you. Fr.

Want to actually claw some of it back? Look up "data broker opt-out" for your state or country, check what privacy rights you have, and turn off ad tracking on your phone. It won't pay you, but it's the best return you'll get.

Sell me again ↺